A Plumber in Hyrule
by kirbyfan66
Summary: When E. Gadd's machine goes horribly wrong, Mario ends up in Hyrule! Will he get out before Link notices/kills him? Find out in this oneshot fanfiction of mine!


**A Plumber in Hyrule**

Author's Note: Yep, my first ever crossover! This is more of a war between Mario and Link than anything- but it is in Hyrule! Also note that this is a oneshot (basically, for those who don't know, a fanfiction with only one chapter), so don't expect much more Zelda content out of me. I _will_, however, get to Mario in time.

Also, Link is silent throughout the whole thing- he only growls, grunts, etc. Mario speaks, but that's only because he's in the whole thing, whereas Link appears a quarter of the way through. Sorry, Zelda fans, this is more biased towards Mario.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and I also hope you all enjoy my other fanfictions!

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It was an ordinary day in the Mushroom Kingdom. The sun was angry, the Goomba's were falling off cliffs, Green Koopas walking to their deaths, with Mario jumping on them... it was a great day. Mario was about to beat a Hammer Bro., until his brother, Luigi, popped up out of nowhere and screamed, "BRO!!!"

This distracted Mario, and the Hammer Bro. wacked him over the head. After beating the Hammer Bro, Mario screamed out, "What, Luigi?"

"I was talking with E. Gadd. He says he has a new machine!"

"Yeah, what else is new." Mario sighed.

"W-wait! This machine can allow you to travel through time! Isn't it so generic, bro?"

"...Yes, actually it is. Too bad I already traveled through time..." Mario said, shivering with fear at that painfully bad game of his.

"But this one actually works! Come on!!!"

"Oh, alright... I'll go see it."

"Yay! Thanks, bro! Now, come on!" Luigi pulled Mario like a child to E. Gadd's laboratory. E. Gadd knew Luigi was coming, so he opened the door to that wooden house of his and got ran over... by Luigi. Mario helped him up, and E. Gadd explained the mechanics of the time machine.

"Now, who would like to try it out?" E. Gadd asked. "One can go back in time, and one can go to the future."

"No way am I going to the past." Mario sighed. "Do you mind, Luigi?"

"Eh... Not at all, bro." Luigi said. "Though I hope I don't get warped into Mario's Time-"

"SHUT UP!" Mario screamed.

"...Alright! Mario, step on the left panel. Luigi, step on the right. You can leave the past or the future by pressing the green button on your wrists."

"Alright-y!" Mario and Luigi said. "See ya on the flipside, bro!" ... "Alright, stop copying me!" They began to argue as they were each shifted to their time period. E. Gadd paused for a moment and said, "Oh wait... The future was the one on the right."

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"Wooaaah!!!" Mario screamed. He was falling, since he was teleported to the past from the sky. When he finally landed, he pulled himself together and took a look around.

"Er... this isn't the future, is it?" Mario sighed.

"Hey! You!" a shopkeeper called out to Mario. "Want lamp oil?"

"No..."

"Rope?"

"No thanks."

"Bombs?"

"I said, NO!"

"You want it? It's yours, my friend. Nothing charged."

"Er... fine."

"WAIT! You don't have a bomb bag! I'll take that back."

"Here... anyway, do you have any Mushrooms? My head is killing me, and I'd like to have one. They cost 5 coins, right?"

"Coins? Mushrooms? Whatever are you talking about?"

"This guys a moron..." Mario thought to himself. "Mushrooms are the things I use to grow bigger- we all do. And coins are the currency."

"No, they aren't! Wonderful rupees are!" the shopkeeper held up an Orange Rupee. "Wonderful, isn't it?"

"...Where am I?" Mario wondered, walking off. He thought he'd ask someone with a brain for a mushroom- but, Rupees? What are those? He couldn't think much longer, since he then entered town. There were dozens upon dozens of people, walking around, doing all sorts of stuff- talking, stealing, selling, throwing tomatoes at houses- where were the Toads? The Koopas? The Goombas? In all the legends of the Mushroom Kingdom, Toads, Koopas, and only a few humans existed- never this many! And coins were always the currency- granted, that shopkeeper looked and sounded stupid, but what was this? Mario was so confused, and he was only confused more when he heard what they were saying- One child spoke of the evil Ganon. Who was Ganon? He knew Smithy, Wart, Bowser- oh my goodness, Bowser- but he never heard of a Ganondorf.

Then there were some girls talking about how they wish they were as fair as the Princess Zelda. Who the heck was Zelda?

"Uh... ladies? Who is Zelda?"

"Humph! You don't know who the Princess is?" one of them said.

"You must either not be from this land or just a plain moron." another said.

"What?!? I'm not a moron! I'm-a-Mario!" he said with pride.

"...You look like a fat man with a 'stache." one of them said, while the others laughed.

"Grr... Anyway, do you know where I can find a-"

"Silence! Come, ladies, we have no need to talk to a fool like this." They all left, leaving Mario with a face redder than Bald Bull's. Yes, I just made a Punch-Out reference. Mario was so confused at how they didn't know who he was- I mean, every so often he was asked where Luigi was, but they were brothers- Mario respected Luigi, and Luigi respected Mario. But they didn't even act like they knew who he was- nonetheless, Luigi. He asked a boy where he was, and the boy answered, "Hyrule!"

"H-H-Hyrule?!? Oh, that was the Zelda those girls were talking about... Oooh, great." Mario sighed. "This is where Link lives, isn't it?" he thought to himself. "I don't want to deal with him again. Looks like I'll just press this butt-" Mario went to press the button, but someone nabbed it off of his wrist. "Hey! Give that back!"

"liek neber" The thief said, running off.

"...Yeah, Hyrule is a land of idiots." Mario thought to himself. "Well, it looks like I'll have to go to the castle and ask Zelda for help. I'd whoop the losers butt now, but the whole town would be in an uproar- Zelda's not a bad person." Mario approached the castle and was about to enter.

"Heeey! You, fatso! Where ya headin'?" a guard asked.

Mario was tired of everyone calling him fat, but responded angrily, "I'm headed into the castle."

"Can't let you do that." the guard answered. "You look harmless, but you might harm the princess.

"Heh... Well, if that's how you'll be." Mario jumped on the guard, knocking him over. Mario then took out his Hammer (the only thing he had on him) and smashed the guards armor off. He then used his Sleepy Bounce, and put the guard to sleep. He headed into the castle with no trouble at all- he was, after all, Super Mario. (You can tell I'm biased. =P) He entered the castle, only to see Link swinging his sword. "...Crap." Mario thought to himself. Link hated Mario with a passion- the first 3 times they've met, in the world of Smash Bros, Link could never beat Mario- and if they were in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario could probably beat him- but this was his turf, his land- he could pull out a whole army to beat Mario. Sure enough, when he noticed Mario standing there, waving hello with a nervous smile, Link charged at Mario with his sword ready to strike.

"Woah woah, Link! S-Settle down!" Mario said, nervously. Mario knew he could beat most of the castle guards, but in Hyrule, he could never beat Link- the whole town of Hyrule would be backing him up with weapons, items, and healing potions- where as Mario would just get one of those tomatoes. Link was a hero, and Mario was a nobody- a soon to be dead nobody, right now. Mario avoided Link's sword swing, but then Link got his Bow and Arrow ready. Before he could strike, he heard someone call out his name. He sighed, put the bow away, and ran to the location of where he heard his name. Mario remembered that voice- it was Zelda! Mario was glad that she saved him, even if it was by accident.

A few minutes later, they both came out. Zelda gasped when she saw Mario. Again, he had a nervous smile on his face and waved hello. Zelda approached him and said, "Hello Mario. What brings you to Hyrule?" Mario told her the story of E. Gadd and Luigi, though he didn't know that E. Gadd went wrong. "Oh... Well, it's a good thing you're here- We recently installed plumbing into the castle, and our sewers and pipes are acting up. Can you-"

"Save your breath. I got it." Mario sighed. "Wait here." Link and Zelda waited for Mario to leave the bathroom. In about 3 minutes, Mario left. "Eh, not much of a problem- just remember to flush next time." Mario sighed.

"I always do. The last one in there was Link." Zelda said. Mario laughed at Link for not knowing how to use a toilet, and got hit in the head with a boomerang for it. "Ah... Zelda, I have something to ask. E. Gadd strapped something onto my wrist- the thing that allows me to travel back home- but a thief stole it. Can I have your help finding it?"

"Oh, Mario, there's no need to head back so soon, is there? We're about to have a feast; surely you'd like some food!" Zelda offered.

"Oh, alright... I am hungry." Mario sighed. "So, what are we having?"

"Well, Link is having the Roast Beast." Zelda said. Link growled, since he was the one who always cut the Roast Beast. (Yes, I know the Grinch cut one, too.) "I'll be having some fruit- I'm not that hungry- and the guards will be having roasted pig."

Mario gagged, but the guards inside all said, "Yum!"

"So, I guess I'm having spaghetti?" Mario asked.

"No, Mario, you'll eat after us." Zelda said. Link laughed at him, as Mario sighed. Mario figured Link thought it was better to torture him by letting him see everyone eat while he was hungry, instead of just killing him.

After the feast, Mario was so hungry, he'd be willing to eat anything! He even said, "I'm so hungry, I could eat an-" Link then threw his spoon at Mario's head, not allowing him to say Octorok, even though he was going to say Poison Mushroom. "Can I eat now?" Mario moaned.

"Yes, Mario. But, first, there's something I need you to do..." Zelda said.

"What? Torture myself for Link's amusement?" Mario asked, which Link thought was brilliant.

"Mario..." Zelda said. "You need to die."

"Ah!" Mario gasped. "Why?!?" Soon, Mario knew why Zelda hadn't fed him during the meals- she hated him, too. In fact, she said it herself just then.

Link was so glad- readying a bomb, his boomerang, his sword, a bow and arrow- he even dropped his Hookshot for afterwards. Even though Zelda wanted him alive, Link wanted him dead, completely oblivious to the fact that Zelda wanted somebody dead.

~In Town...~

"Alright, I'm getting that thief myself..." Mario thought. He then noticed Link charging at him from behind, Bow and Arrow in hand. Mario noticed he was out for blood, and ran into town. Link tried hitting Mario, but he was being stealthy- he hid in the store selling tomatoes, and Link had used up all of his arrows trying to find Mario. While hiding, Mario noticed something- Link had Mario's way of getting back home!

"So, YOU'RE the thief, Link!" Mario yelled out. "Why do you hate me so much? Why do you want me to-" Mario started, then his stomach growled. Mario's munched on a tomato, and continued. "Stay... Uh, Link?" Link had vanished. Mario looked around, but then felt something drop on his head. He looked up, and noticed a bomb was on his head. "Woah!" he picked up the bomb and threw it up. It just happened to land right on Link's head, exploding after coming in contact. After it exploded, it caused the other bombs to explode, demolishing that nice store selling tomatoes. (In case you didn't know, Link was on top of the store- it's a small one.) Mario then grinned and ran off, Link soon following.

"You'll never catch me, slowpoke!" Mario taunted. Link booked it after Mario, readying his Hookshot- at Mario's neck! He released the Hookshot, and it would've hit and likely killed Mario, but the Hookshot couldn't go far enough, and it came back, only to hit Link in head. Mario laughed again- but Link was angrier than ever. A boy from town gave Link a Potion- if he threw it at Mario, he could no longer run!

"Get that bad guy, Link!" the boy told him. Link smiled and nodded, readying the potion. He didn't even notice that Mario was right behind him, until everyone around Link shouted, "Behind you!"

"...I hate you all." Mario sighed. Link threw the potion at Mario, but he wasn't going to give up just yet- he whacked the Potion with his Hammer, and it was sent flying- it broke in midair, and little drops were sent raining down. Mario hid under a new tomato store, and Link held his shield up- the drops hit the villagers, and they fell to the ground- some dead, some unconcious. Mario took this oppurunity to grab his wristband back- but he wasn't fast enough. Link punched Mario in the eye, which oddly enough, hurt. Mario then knew that acting like a Loony Tune wouldn't work- he had to use his last resort. He pulled a soccer ball out of his pocket- yes, pockets are big these days- and he kicked it at Link. Link dodged and laughed at Mario's fail miss. Before he could act, though, Mario had swung a baseball with the might of Bowser- Link was sent flying into the wall, and Mario ran up to him. He grabbed the wristband, and used FLUDD to cool off Link.

"Alright, I gotta get out of here!" After grabbing a tomato, Mario pressed the button and...

Nothing happened.

Hah! Just kidding, he went back home. Convienently enough, Mario was back in E. Gadd's lab, with both him and Luigi waiting for him.

"Hey, bro! How was the future?" Luigi asked.

"YOU went to future- E. Gadd screwed up and sent me to the past!" Mario yelled.

"Hm? I went to the past, bro. Let me tell ya, you never want to go to Hyrule."

"...I went to Hyrule."

...

Mario and Luigi both started laughing- they both went to Hyrule! E. Gadd's machine didn't work. "So... the machine's good?" Mario and Luigi then glared at E. Gadd. Luigi closed the door, and Mario got out a baseball...

~The End~

I had SUCH A FUN TIME writing this. Even if I'm biased towards Mario, I think this turned out well for both Mario _and_ Link- even though it sucked for Zelda. =/

I also liked how the CD-I reference turned out- a stupid, moronic, yet funny shopkeeper? It has to be the CD-I! I probably had the most fun when Mario and Link were chasing eachother in town, though- it took me an hour to decide how Mario would return home.

And, one last word before I go:

Tomato!!! =3


End file.
